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Raise The Bar! – “He’s Not That Bad….Right”?

Raise The Bar! – “He’s Not That Bad….Right”?
MBL Editors
Dr. Deign gives you advice your mother won’t!

He’s not that bad … Right?

“He works. He doesn’t cheat … He doesn’t abuse me … and ummm …” She bites her lower lip, scrunches her nose a little, and shifts her eyes back and forth as if searching for something more to say. “And he even lets me go out with the girls when I want to. He doesn’t make me stay home.

See? He’s not that bad … Right?”

 Me: Is the sex good?

Her: Well … I mean … He likes it.

Me: Ok, but what about you?

Her: Well, it’s really not about me. It’s only three or four minutes anyway … and then he’s done.

Me: What about romance?

Her: Huh?

Me: You know … slow dancing, flowers, dinner, love notes, etc. How’s that?

Her: Oh he’s not that type of guy.

Me: Yes, but are you that type of girl?

Her: (Enter the sound of crickets chirping here)

Me: Do you love him?

Her: Well … I’m not in love with him, but I do love him.

Me: What exactly do you mean by that?

Her: You know … I mean I care about him … I don’t want him to get hit by a bus or anything, if that’s what you mean.

It seems to me, the young lady I interviewed here (she’s in her late twenties) is settling a little too much. It’s as if she’s lowered her standards to the point that the man in her life is now getting credit for what he’s not doing to her instead of what he is doing for her.

Does anyone else see this?

I had a teacher that once said, “You don’t get credit just for coming to class. You have to actually do the work once you’re here.” Is this girl’s story any different? Is her man “showing up for class but not doing any of the work?” If so, he’s failing.

And what about you? What are your thoughts? Is this type of relationship acceptable to you? Please share your thoughts and let us know how you feel. Just keep in mind …

There is still not one other person like you on this planet. You are a rare and beautiful gift. I personally believe you should expect to be treated like one.

-Dr. Deign



Dr. Deign is an author, educator and speaker. He travels throughout the country motivating and educating many people on the “do’s and don’t’s of life.”

He recently published his first book, “The Best College Student Survival Guide Ever Written” ( and is currently working on a book for women about why men do what they do.

Dr. Deign resides in Columbus, Ohio, where he writes, educates, and dreams.

For more information, please visit © 2013