How Black Womens Dating Realities Fuel Billion Dollar Industry
Black Women Greatly Outnumber Black Men
Now on to the post.
Did we say black women’s dating realities “fuel billion dollar industry”? Oh let’s be real! We meant fuel GAZILLION dollar industry.
Relationship coaches, dating gurus, highly paid matchmakers, soothsayers and Santeria all employed to escape the inescapable truth which is…..see title above.
Years of articles, posts, books, videos and journals surrounding the never-ending quest for answers to why there is so much stress and discomfort among black singles. Recently Buzzfeed Yellow created a freshly minted video highlighting dating preferences based on an old OKCupid survey. You remember THE OKCupid survey, that said black women would die alone in a cold dark room surrounded by empty Fancy Feast cans because no one was attracted to them? Yeah that one. Well Buzzfeed decided to re-package that info into a beautifully lit video filled with really good-looking people.
Thereafter BuzzFeed posted an article focusing on a black socialite, Fleace Weaver who arranges trips abroad for black women seeking engagement. After viewing the BF video, I can only imagine Ms. Weaver’s bookings skyrocketed.
Though many people attempt to explain what is happening in the black dating, so many seem to ignore the obvious. How can one compare the black experience in dating with other racial groups when those groups have a more balanced male to female ratio. That shortage of available men throws everything in the black dating world out of whack. Yes, we know that women outnumber men in most groups except Asians or East Indians. Yet, no other group of women experiences the vast differences in available men that black women face. We could analyze the long list of reasons for these disparities, yet that is for a much longer more serious post. Yet, the basics are as follows. There are more female children born than male children. As they grow young men and boys are most likely to engage in dangerous, potentially deadly behaviors that lead to their early demise. Further, in the black community black males are the main targets of prisons for profit, the Prison Industrial Complex and violent crime.
With the realities stated above of course black women will have less partners, less dates and less relationships as stated by OKCupid, straight with no chaser. On the other hand, black men can afford to be picky as statistically they have great advantage. Further, as many similar surveys have shown, the majority of black men are interested and open to interracial dating while black women are not.
Recently, scores of black men with access to a computer have begun writing books counseling black women on relationships and dating. While these men are certainly enriching themselves, almost all of them have overlooked the reality of the title of this post. Actors, comedians, bartenders, body-builders and clowns are among the recent group writing “relationship coaching” books and sending links to my email encouraging me to “Click Here” to purchase. All suggest that they have the answers to the black dating dilemma, for a fee of course. Not one of these men has noted any background in therapy, counseling or psychology. So let me spill the tea for you. You know where black women need to go for dating advice and information? City Data! That’s www.city-data.com Simply pop in the zip code of the city you are interested in living in and Voila!. There you have it, the cold hard facts. There have to be men for you TO date before you begin your relationship book makeover.
So lookee here……
Below we give links to data collected showing the wide margins between men and women in selected predominately black zip codes. City Data provides demographic numbers collected primarily from public records provided by local government agencies. In one zip code, 30331 in Atlanta which includes working class areas as well as the well manicured middle class area of Cascade, you will see numbers stating at 30 years of age there are 320,000 men vs. 470,000 women. Ask yourself this? What relationship tips would help you remedy stats like that? Brighter lipstick? Tighter dress? Bake a better cake? Be more compliant?
Further take into account dating difficulties are exacerbated by the fact in some cities unemployment numbers among young black men runs as high as 50% according to reports cited by NAN.
Other predominately black zip codes are linked below, all showing vast differences in the number of men to women.
Los Angeles – Baldwin Hills
As you can see we chose, working class areas as well as middle class. All areas show a WIDE margin in numbers.
Now here is our .02, though no one asked. We will save you scores of hard-earned cash. Yes indeed it is harder for black women on the dating scene, yet no book, video or set of dating rules will help you in an arena where you outnumber the men by tens of thousands. It matters not how well you stroke an ego, your hip to waist ratio or your amazing sweet potatoe pie. The only smart answer is…black women who seek to date or marry need to place themselves into DIVERSE areas and cast the widest net possible. If you attend an all black church and the only single man is the church organist! You need to start attending a church with a diverse demographic.
If you live in an area with few single black men. You will need to socialize in more diverse areas. That is all. We’re not here to tell you you HAVE to enter an interracial relationship. There are many wonderful black men on the dating scene looking as well. What we are saying is that if it’s not working for you where you are, then you need to change it up. And in doing so that may mean simply finding where the single men are….of any race.
Image Credit – Getty Images/Photodisc
Photographer – Sean De Burca